Moments...

What is it about me and moments? Moments are a major part of my art, my life, my philosophy of living...
...I can think for hours..., analyzing..., and have come to the conclusion that time, and our time between birth and death is less important for the worth of living and the quality of life than moments, if you compare those. It's the moments our life and existense is buildt up around that mathers.
You can say that more time will give more moments, but not necessarily... Because so many people don't live the moments..., they miss most of them, because they are so into time that they forget to sense what is happening..., the small things...
When people die... Have you ever heard anyone remember a person as great because he or she got to a certain age? No, it's the moments with that person..., whether you live on earth for one day or 100 years...
When someone is talking about his or her happiness, do you ever hear them fully refer to how much time etc..., because we all get the same amount of time available during a day, a week, a year... It's the moments that this persons life is buildt up around that counts... And your happiness and week is measured according to the moments you are able to catch... I think some is naturally better at catching moments and manage to be and sense it than others, but all can be better than they are, and then live life more to the full...
Why is people that has experience great losses and deep pain often the most happy ones for example? It's because they learn the hard way that the moments is all there is... They get better than others in catching the moments... Not reaching for the big ones like the holiday you are going to, or the great party, but the nice little chat with a colleague by the coffeemachine, the walk in the rain, the smell of coffee in the morning, the smile from another person or a quiet moment with a candle... And they learn to increase the number of moments by finding them in memories too... Like when I liked to look at my grandma and mums pearls and jewellery as a kid.. And when I remember the feeling and those moments, they give me happiness again and again and again...

In the night AGAIN!!!

...as so many times before, I sit by myself in the night, thinking... About three years ago. Maybe four. Don't remember exact, because times fly faster than you can count sometimes... Anyhow. I was feeling like I had lost almost everything. So many things had happened in my life. Tragically. I lived from day to day, and was grateful for my kids and good friends, but myself was captured so deep in me, after all the years of trying to be like everyone else, that I'm still in the prosess of opening up more and more to give and show people my art. The art that comes from deep down in my soul. The true me. The person people see part of when they explore my art. At that time. Four years ago, I didn't even have a camera. My old camera was not in shape anymore, couldn't afford films and I couldn't afford a new. I had no working computer. I had lots of paper and napkins I had written poems and lyrics on when I worked with sales, but most of them I actually tossed when I felt down, because I was frustrated by feeling I may never do anything with art because people expected me to be like them, I thought and felt. I had written them in my car on job, during coffeebreaks etc. I couldn't afford paint or canvas either, and during the last years I had worked so much beside being a single mum, that my body at a point collapsed, and I therefor was in physical pain. And for so many years I had felt the pain from hiding the artistic soul too. The only way I could express was on that napkins and paper I had in the car. I didn't tell family or anyone what I felt. I dreamed of photographing again, and write on a computer. Paint, design, make things... But I had no money to buy the minimum of what I needed, and felt I couldn't tell people what I experienced either. I was almost alone with feeling what I felt, and the only ones who saw the artistic soul hidden deep in me was my best friend, Mirjam, who encouraged me to release it, which I'm deeply grateful for, and my kids. They knew all along. Others may have been aware, but didn't do anything. I was poor, miserable, and unhappy. Happy with the kids and friends, unhappy with the rest. I actually reached the point where I thought I had nothing to loose when it came to myself, which is actually a good thing, because it made me get where I am now:) ...and my stubberness helped too. Long story short, I managed to borrow some money for a computer, and then by miracle got some money I used on camera. Feeling deep deep pain released the artist again, and for the first time since my mum died when I was 18, I felt I was moving back to being myself again outside my homebase. Not just on the inside, but starting to open up again, and that was about four years ago. I still can't afford expensive equipment in lighting etc., and don't want it either. I make everything I use in my art myself. Mix with different lights etc. My philosophy is, that everyone with enough money in the bank can buy that expensive things, but money is not what makes an artist. Julia Margareth Cameron didn't have expensive advanced ones. She had her eyes!!! You need the minimum, which is actually to have a camera, but photographing itself is about seeing!!! Art is about seeing, sensing and being...

In the night...

It's the middle of the night... My body is tired, and my mind says sleep..., but my head is constantly working on some projects... Writing on my iPhone..., making notes... Suddenly I'm thinking... Why was I born an artist?? Wouldn't it be easier to be something else?? Not to wonder about every little thing as long as I can remember in life?? To have thousand thoughts and projects in my head all the time... Even in the middle of the night... I was lying exactly like this awake as a young girl too... Couldn't shut my brain of... My childhood memories... I wrote poems in the night then too... And draw... As long as I had a paper, some pens and a flashlight... And if I didn't have a paper, I would always find something else to write or draw on...;) I even cut my hair in the dark, after mum and dad had said goodnight once... I think I was about three years old... That didn't go so well... But I still remember how excited I was... Was going to surprise my parents, and I sucseeded...;)
So many wild ideas..., so stubbern and independent, and wanting to find at least two or three extra answers or questions to every established truth... Projects all the time... And also the child that could sit for hours concentrating on what she was doing... That was me...
Would it be easier not to be born as an artistic soul then?? Definetily, ...but one advantage I have... I never ever get bored... Just tired from too little sleep...;);)

Wonders...

When I was a little girl I could sit for hours and just watch the beauty of the sky, the nature, the movement of the light on the skies… And I once had a kaleidoscope… Which I loved… The other day… The sky outside my house had that mysterious light I used to love looking at as a little girl and I had to make something out of it… With some of the symbolic added like I add to alot of my work that I don’t want to reveal every aspect of yet… Because I want people to see it in an open way… It’s more important to me what people experience and feel than what I have meant to tell… Because art is also alot about the meditative, feelings and experiences…

Freedom...

The title of this work is: "Freedom - To see the world from a different angle..."

I don't like to explain my work really, but this website is about me talking a little bit about it..., because I get a lot of questions...

...everyone who knows me, know or should know that freedom for me is like water, air and food for others... I'm not talking about the traditional way of freedom, but about freedom as the non-established way of life... Like life's a journey... Not life in a static way like the normativ way of house, spouse, kids, dogs and... You know...? I like to see it different... Like there's a time for everything... Being on a journey and be openminded... And this work is about the childish way of turning things upside down... Playing... Be free...

Kids don't have strings to them before they are told to or taught by the surroundings... (…not to mix with necessary good behavior, because I talk about play and how to see the world…) And I often think that the difference between the normative people and artists are that the artists don't put strings on them in adulthood like most normative people do... They are often more openminded like a child, more playful, and have a view of life like it’s a journey…

Or rebellious like a child…

There are also people that are not artists who have kept this vision of life and how to live into adulthood aswell... And this work is about that...